Bulaga!

Minutes ago, in a local restaurant in Bonifacio, I saw my ex. Technically, I did not “meet” him, because I could see him from afar, and he did not notice me anyway because I looked haggard and gusgusin.

Ayun, he was still the old charm. He looked healthier, by the way, and also fair-looking. He was conversing with another person, and he looked serious. The other guy seemed straight to me. His client, perhaps. I had to hurry up eating because I did not want to see him and I was dining near the entrance area. I fled.

Two years ago, a day before the classes resume in January, we met in KFC, SM City. He was with another person and he greeted me “Mak! Happy new year!” Of course I wasn’t happy seeing him. That man who had to clutch his new boytoy just to greet me in my solitary dinner, well, it didn’t sound so happy-new-year-ish at all.

We met again sometime in the middle of the year. I think he was holding his credit card, as he was shopping, or whatever card that was. I always had the “bulaga” feeling whenever we meet. It’s as if the God has always intended it to be shocking on my part, like what just happened tonight where I didn’t even bother to look in the mirror before going out. So unglamorous.

Amongst Filipinos, there is a belief that the moment a couple breaks up, it becomes a competition. We ask the question – who will move on first? And usually, the yardstick of moving on, as far as I have observed, is when the other half finds another boyfriend or girlfriend. Kung wala ka pang syota, talo ka.

If we follow that line of thinking, I already lost the game. Five years have passed and I’m still single. The other guy? Well, he had plenty after me. I have seen his facebook status change like the phases of the moon – single, in a relationship, and back and forth. Minsan pa nga, engaged or married. Ewan.

I don’t mind losing a game of Filipino idiosyncrasy at all. If they say I’m a loser, okay I can deal with that. He may get another dozen boyfriends and I can still remain single for a century, but that doesn’t mean I still have not moved on, or he has moved on. Don’t ask me why I’m still single, that’s the topic of another blog post. LOL.

But sincerely, I’m happy for him. He looked happier than before. I must say he’d gone a long way. I think he got promoted and moved to Manila, but now he’s in Davao again. He deserves the best.

As for me, I’m happy with being alone. I have been in a relationship with myself for 22 years, and I still have not figured this relationship out entirely. If I’m really ready for something else, I had to be secure with who I am.

But please Lord, next time naman, wag masyadong pa-shocking ha? So that when I meet my ex again, he’d think I’ve never been happier ever since him. 🙂